I'm Jess, 28 years old and likely one of the most awesome people one could ever hope to meet. I'm a realist to the end, and I have almost no tolerance for blatant ignorance. I'm the first one to make an insanely inappropriate joke in an awkward situation, and I'm a firm believer in giving what you want back. You'll rarely get back what you give, but at least you can sleep at night knowing you're better than most scumbags out there. I love makeup, and working out, and my only few hobbies include hanging out with my American Bulldog, PeeWee, and the love of my life, and business partner, Taylor. :) Feel free to ask me anything you'd like. I'm pretty much an open book.
Kanye West says he’s gonna be the next Nelson Mandela? Nigga your wife is a porn star and your daughter is a compass. Please have several seats.
if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough
- Virginia Woolf (via astrowomyn)
Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you